About Matt
Upon finishining Sixth Form in 2019, I decided to go travelling with my brother. Faced with an unrelenting indecisiveness as to where we should go, I ended up scanning the map, eventually came across Vietnam. “They had a war there” and “I like that Rolling Stones song” was pretty much all I could say about the country at that moment, but I decided to take a punt with it.
That year, which saw many a life-changing adventure, gave me the first real taste of freedom in my life after breaking off the shackles of the institutional education system. For the first time, I had a sense of optimism, of hope, of feeling that I could create a new and better life for myself. But the Universe had other plans, and i’m sure it had a cheeky smirk on its face as it put them into fruition, for 2020 brought about the pandemic. Goodbye to travelling, Goodbye to my girlfriend in Vietnam, Goodbye to hope, for the time being anyways. When the home in your mind, i.e all of the comfort and safety and knowledge about the world, folds and caves in, it’s hard to look through the broken window and see the bigger picture. Having my freedom ripped away from me at the time of my life when I could most make use of it, solidified my defiance against the system. It confirmed many of my beliefs about human nature. I began searching for ways to get out around the rules regarding travel restrictions and vaccinations. However, it dawned on me that, seeing as the only country that didn’t conform the Fear Narrative was Mexico, I was extremely limited in my choice, and it would just be too difficult. So, for 2 long, hard years I trudged on. Everything was wrong. My home-life, my work-life and my relationship with my then-girlfriend was in tatters. My step-father became increasingly erratic and abusive, instilling a reign on terror on my household even after my mum kicked him out the house. My work in a care-home was stressful, and fitting in shifts around my University studies meant that I had to work Day and Night shifts consecutively. Meanwhile, the strain of not being able to visit my girlfriend during the holidays eventually ended in the breakdown of our relationship, with no idea of when the restrictions would end. This eventually accumulated in a few white hairs at the ripe old age of 21, heart palpatations and hair falling out. I knew I had to get out. This situation was killing me. But there seemed no escape.